Love and Control

When I read a book, I will occasionally jot down notes of concepts or ideas that particularly strick me. This morning I grabbed my note book and started looking through it, to see what little gems where in there.

Here’s one:

There are only two questions that human beings have ever fought over, all through history. How much do you love me? And Who’s in charge?

This could certainly be applied to every level of personal, professional, and social relationship, as well as groups, causes, states, countries, etc. No matter what the size, it’s all about “who loves me,” or, in some cases, “who’s on my side” for the larger entities, and off course, “who’s in charge.”

Love and Control.

Love between two people, to bring it back to the personal level, seems obviously a must for successful long term relationships. Is it necessary to ask “how much”? If two people truly love one another, the quantity per se is irrelevant. I would think what is important here is the quality of that love. Can each love the other enough to let the other learn and grow on their own terms, to accept that person as they are, one complete human being, constantly evolving all the while sharing a common path?

True Love asks a lot, and yet asks nothing.

Love is the most incredible growing experience one could ask for. Love will challenge, stretch limits and ideas, and be ultimately rewarding beyond words. Love in and of itself is not enough… love must translate into a relationship, and that takes work and commitment.

It also takes letting go of “being right,” (i.e. control) in favor of listening, hearing, and understanding of the other’s point of view. 

Staying up late the other night watching TV, there was a special on Will Smith and his wife Jada. After 10 years of marriage, their are as in love as day 1 and as committed to each other as ever. It shows every time you see them together. When ask the secret to their happiness, the answer was very simple: relationships take work and commitment.

The numbers of divorces today speak loudly to this. Often times, people fall in love and think it’s all it takes, to love each other, to make it. Falling in love is the easy part. Then the work comes and those that cannot stick to it call it quits. And the cycle repeats until that lesson is learned.

Anyway, I diverge a little. The control part took me a little to learn… and the funny thing is, it’s so easy to let it go. Letting go of any need to change or influence your partner opens up new communication and new understanding that is infinitively more rewarding. It gives new insight into that human being that you fell in love with, how they feel, think, see things, etc., and will reflect the same insight onto your own being. Taking the time to sit down and communicate for the sake of understanding, rather than proving a point, is more beneficial for both involved and is a better investment for long term benefits.

Give Love. Let Go of Control.

The simple formula for success and happiness in a nut shell.

OK, even though I meant to take a wider view of this, it came back to personal level… make of this what you wish, and I hope this still gave you something to think about.

Having Fun Over At MySpace

I put up a MySpace page just this past Friday and having a blast with it. I had been resisting doing so for a while for the simple fact that all my kids at school (I’m a teacher) have them and talk about MySpace on a regular basis.

That said, I’m now very glad I did. I’ve met some wonderful people already and reconnecting with other, and just generally having a great time of it.

Come check out my page: Find me on MySpace

and be sure to send me a friend’s request if you have a page too.

See you there -

Home Made Strawberry Pie

My family is very big on getting together and preparing meals or deserts. The kitchen is the most used room of the house. Tomorrow Sunday is our September birthday celebration (4 virgos in immediate circle) so lots of cakes to make.

We now have, ready for Sunday lunch, 2 chocolate cakes, 1 strawberry pie, and 1 coconut/macademia “cheese” cake. Both the pie and cheese cake are raw vegan recipes.

Oh yeah!…

The main meal will be shrimp and rice, big bean/veggy salad, and lots of green leafy choices. And then off course, desert with candles! Though we have been joking about the amount of candles now needed and considered representing each decade with one big candle, to prevent melting issues.  ;D

This one is the home made raw vegan strawberry pie.

It’s a beautiful weekend here in Texas. I hope it is equally beautiful and full of happy family times wherever you are.

I was trying to imagine…

Seeing images of completely devastated neighborhoods and towns in Hurricane Ike’s wake, I was trying to imagine what people do in this case?

I thought about the little town I live in and tried to apply that scenario here. What if the entire town were destroyed, all houses gone, all jobs gone, all that remains are piles everywhere. What would I do? Stay and build my little house again? With what? I live and work in this town, so both would be gone, and I certainly could not afford to rebuild. Sure insurances kick in and pay some, but not all, and what about those who were not or could not afford insurance?

I can’t quite wrap my head around how one gets started again after something like this.

Fortunately, I can call family and move in with them until I find a retail job or some other temporary situation just to get some cash coming in again. What about the bills? Those still come in, whether you have a job or not. Things quickly accumulate. Then it’s another black hole that’s impossible to crawl out of, on top of everything else. It’s a long road ahead.

I was truly horrified for the people who’s live has now been altered in a way that will never be the same.

Hurricane Ike and Rain

After all the anticipation and build up here in the outskirts of Austin, TX, I have to admit I was looking forward to a good down pour over the weekend. After watching the latest on the hurricane Ike’s path Friday evening, I was expecting to wake up to the sound of rain over the roof… not a drop… Such a let down.

I even had a couple candles on my kitchen counter in case of power outage, had a tank full of gaz, and a fridge full of groceries. Filling stations and groceries stores were packed full thursday after work when I went.

Now before anyone gets offended, I’d like to add that I am in no way diminishing the experience of anyone who has come in direct contact of this storm. Nor am I forgetting the thousands of people who’s homes have been destroyed, or had to evacuate, or anything of the sort.

I am simply stating that for my part, up here on the far reaching perimeter of this event, yes, I was looking forward to much needed rain.

As for the hurricane itself, watching sea level predictions over Galveston a few hours before Ike’s land fall, this thought was running through my mind. Knowing the danger, knowing the wide reaching scope of this storm, its strength and potential destructive power, who in their right mind would choose to stay?

Granted, each person has a right to choose for themselves. Each adult has command over their own lives. But what about common sense? If everyone is telling you your city is going to be underwater in a couple days, would you stay?

What gets me mad, is people who make that decision and place their family in danger, then get ovewhelmed because they did not listen to the warning, get themselves (and their family) in dire situations, and then need rescuing. Now not only have they endangered themselves and family members, but now recue team are putting their lives on the line to get them out when they should have left in the first place!!!!…..  THAT makes me really mad just thinking about it.

My heart goes out to these recue teams and these people who will unselfishly do anything they can to assure safety for anyone they encounter. Kudos to them.

And shame on those who forgo common sense and then expect others to endanger their own lives to recue them.